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ADD & Special Kids Community
Building Self Esteem
Does your child have enough poker chips for the game of life?
by Joe Spataro
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Special Needs Kids: ADD | Asperger's Syndrome | Autism | Dyslexia | Gifted
Teaching Styles: Christian | Secular | Unschooling
Believing in your kids

joe2.jpg (4335 bytes)Self esteem is the most important aspect of our children's lives. If you believe that you can do it, then you probably can. Unfortunately, many kids are told quite the opposite, especially if they don't quite "fit in." Kids with learning disabilities, ADD/ADHD, victims of bullies and many others get constant messages, that they are not worthy. Many of these messages come from teachers, parents and others who are supposed to be helping them. Quickly, they will believe it and it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Thomas Edison & self esteem

bennett.jpg (4340 bytes)Thomas Edison was dyslexic and was rejected by his teacher, yet he was saved by acceptance from his mother. In an interview with Frederick Bennett, Ph.D., he cited the story of Thomas Edison where he says, "Edison was not the first nor the last bright student for whom regular schooling was not ideal. Just as homeschooling was correct for him, it is the same for many other children. Probably the greatest benefit that Edison received from his homeschooling was the influence that his mother had upon him, over and above the academic material she provided. Edison later said of her, "She instilled in me the love and purpose of learning." I would say that to fill a child with the "love and purpose of learning" is the most important benefit of all schooling."

We have some great FREE inspirational video clips (below) that can help you help your child from Dr. Robert Brooks who talks about "Islands of Competence" and the need to celebrate and reinforce of them. Richard Lavoi then has another video clip about making sure that your child gets enough poker chips for the game of life.

Celebrating "Islands of Competence"

brooks.jpg (5850 bytes)Dr. Robert Brooks is a clinical psychologist who has worked with special needs children and their families for over 25 years. He is also the author of the best-selling book, The Self-Esteem Teacher and Raising Resilient Children

About the Book:
He says that parents' core goal should be to instill in their children a sense of inner recourse. "A resilient child is an emotionally healthy child, equipped to successfully confront challenges and bounce back from setbacks," they contend, and to this end they provide 10 parenting "guideposts" for nurturing the kind of resilience that helps children thrive. From being empathic, to teaching problem-solving, to identifying "islands of competence" in order to help a child experience success, to editing and eliminating what the authors call "negative scripts" (what parents hear themselves saying and doing repeatedly, "with negligible beneficial results")
Read more about the book.

Video Clip Synopsis:
tvclip.gif (4089 bytes)Children know listen to what people tell them. If they are told negative things about themselves, they will believe it. When asked, people who are "resilient" say that the most important thing that helped them through adversity, was that there was at least one adult who believed in them and stood by them. People with poor self esteem have trouble thinking of such a person and most people are "prosecuting attorneys" as opposed to "defense attorneys."
eyescan.gif (247 bytes) See his 5 minute video cliprealplayerlogo.gif (1202 bytes)

Dr. Robert Brooks is a clinical psychologist who has worked with special needs children and their families for over 25 years. A renowned speaker, he is on the faculty at Harvard Medical School and was formerly director of the department of psychology at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts.

Does Your Child have Enough Poker Chips?

lavoie.jpg (4962 bytes)tvclip.gif (4089 bytes)Using the metaphor of self-esteem as "poker chips." Children with good self-esteem have tons and tons of poker chips because good things have happened to them. He says that learning disabled children very often just don't have enough chips. Richard Lavoie tells us that when our children have success, they get "poker chips" which are needed for the games of adult life.  It is the duty of teachers and parents to find what Bob Brooks calls "islands of competence" within the child. He says that you have to be a "talent scout" and find areas need to be celebrated and reinforced. Each day, a child needs to have success, be praised and get more poker chips. Each day a child need to get more poker chip than they started with.

Richard Lavoie, M.A., M.Ed. has worked in special education since 1972, as a teacher, administrator, author, and consultant. He is currently Executive Director of Riverview School, a residential school for children with learning disabilities, in East Sandwich, Massachusetts.

Nobody's Perfekt

  • Nearly 4 million school-age children have Learning Disabilities.
  • Learning Disbilities are often referred to as "hidden handicaps" because they are not easily recognized, accepted or considered serious.
  • Twenty percent of children who have Learning Disabilities may also have Attention Deficit Disorder.
  • selfesteembonnie.jpg (10307 bytes)This is a video that provides an overview of learning disabilities. This fifty-seven minute documentary explores the "hidden handicap," while explaining the differences between learning disabilities, including dyslexia, ADD and ADHD. You'll meet three families who have dealt with their own special set of circumstances to better understand their child's difficulties. You'll hear from experts and teachers who are working together with families and their children helping them to overcome their learning disabilities. Nobody's Perfekt is an insightful and empowering guide for parents and teachers.

    Comments

    Try doing a scrapbook with your child
    From: Marcia Macomber

    • rossboxphotoalbum3.jpg (6652 bytes)No matter how little they are the can pick colors to decorate the page, get a scrapbook NOT a photo album so you can write there memories and stories of the event or person.
    • Make sure there's lots of pictures of the child and lots of family and friends, places and things important to them even if you think its the worst picture ever taken.
    • If you have access, you can scan pictures into a computer and print them that way you get as many copies as you need you can also crop, enlarge or shrink a picture.
    • This also helps with learning to tell stories in sequence, dexterity and recognizing letters and words.

    Dyslexia is not just mixing up letters
    wilber.jpg (4621 bytes)Peggy M. Wilber, M.Ed., author of Reading Rescue 1 - 2 - 3 says, "Contrary to what many people think, dyslexia is not just mixing up letters d and b. (That, by the way, is a common trait of children up through third grade and is not the major tool for diagnosing dyslexia.) Dyslexia is defined as having a "deficit in auditory and language skills. Researchers know that 95 percent of all children who receive proper instruction—a combination of auditory training, phonic instruction, and application of phonics by reading lots of printed materials such as books and magazines—become able to read at grade level. This means that only a small percentage of children in America truly suffer from dyslexia."
    gonext.gif (388 bytes)see more of this interview

    Meet the Author
    Ronald D. Davis
    "The Gift of Dyslexia"
    Why some of the smartest people can't read and how they can learn

    gonext.gif (388 bytes)interview & FREE excerpt
    hosted by Sue Spataro, RN, BSN
    davis.jpg (3982 bytes)In this exciting book, Davis shares the startling discovery he made which helped him overcome his own dyslexia; reveals how dyslexia may be linked to uncommonly high levels of intelligence, creativity, and imagination; and outlines a clear and simple plan that anyone can use to help themselves or others conquer this all-too-common disability. In this interview, Davis discusses: Signs of Dyslexia;  The "Gift" of Dyslexia;  Dyslexia & Disorientation;  Dyslexia & the Family;  Labels; a  FREE Book Excerpt: on The Underlying Talent which discusses gifted dyslexics throughout history. Find out more.

    Meet the Authors
    Mariaemma Willis, M.S.
    & Victoria Kindle Hodson, M.A.
    "Discover Your Child's Learning Style"
    hosted by Joe Spataro
    gonext.gif (388 bytes)Interview & FREE Excerpt
    willis.jpg (4231 bytes)Mariaemma Willis, M.S., and Victoria Kindle Hodson, M.A., have written a sensitive, thought-provoking book that honors and celebrates the unique learning styles of all children.

    In this interview hosted by Joe Spataro, the authors discuss their ideas on ADD, ADHD, dyslexia, homeschooling, afterschooling as well as an easy to follow way to assess your child. This book challenges the assumption at the heart of the traditional school system: that all children learn (and therefore should be taught) in the same way. The book contains a step-by-step program of self awareness test that guide you to a better understanding of your child’s unique strengths and weaknesses. Normally, these tests would cost hundreds of dollars, but now you can do it yourself and help your child achieve a better inner peace while helping them achieve their goals and fulfill their interests.


    Videos for self esteem

    Homeschooling 101

    Home Schooling: Is it for you?
    redchk.gif (175 bytes)more Homeschooling Videos


    Great way
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    The Explosive Child

    redchk.gif (175 bytes)Interview with author Ross Greene
    redchk.gif (175 bytes)more ADD & ADHD books
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